Monday, February 18, 2008

"Which one is her real mom"

We are all living in a world where children from LGBT families are in the minority. Some of us have it better or worse than others. This past week my daughter had her 3rd birthday celebration at her school. As both her moms walked into the school building, we realized this is the first event we will have been at where we are the only parents in the room (thus, we might be noticed a little more as two moms by the kids). We have always been "out" at our daughter's school, but we know this is a process--especially for the kids.

Sure enough, within 30 seconds of being in the classroom, I hear one of her classmates ask a teacher, "which one is her real mom." The question echoed inside me like I was in some movie. I couldn't hear what the teacher said, but I imagine and hope she said they both are. Whatever she said the conversation ended and the little girl seemed satisfied.

Busted by a child once again. I imagine we will experience MANY years of dealing with the inquisitive minds of babes.

What I did take away from the situation is the lack of work we have been doing around my daughter's family structure. I really just want to believe my daughter is going to a progressive school, so we wouldn't have to do much.

We are active participants at my daughter's school. We talk with the other parents and the kids, so we have been overly optimistic about how it will all shake out. The truth is, I wonder what the other parents have told their kids about our family. I really should find out for the benefit of my daughter, but somehow it is sort of like putting off that dental cleaning.

Can you believe what a bad example I am setting for other parents? Just goes to show it is hard for all of us, even those of us living in fairly progressive areas.


Carolyn said...

We bought our 5 year old a shirt that says "they are both my real Mom". We live in a small town in Alabama, who knows what we'll face in this school system...wish us luck!!

SqueakyClef said...

Very inspirational. I admire your courage.