I get sick of hearing about gay folks behaving badly when it comes to the well-being of our children. I realize straight people behave badly also, but there is something extra sickening to see a gay person use the anti-gay legal system to steal a parent from a child (or vice versa). At least straight folks have a legal system that helps them end their relationships in a way that limits the harm to children.
Shame on anyone who reads this who has manipulated our anti-gay legal system in an attempt to steal a parent from your child or children, and to take away the parenting rights from a former loved one. I will never stand with someone who does such awful treachery, and I think the entire community should speak out, or at least turn our backs on such people.
I don't care if it is a friend who you want to support in a breakup. You can't support this kind of behavior because it hurts us all and has far-reaching implications. Anytime someone uses anti-gay tactics to harm another, whether child or partner/spouse, it jeopardizes all of our relationships with our children and spouses/partners.
Of course, I will remind you that if gay people were allowed to marry, we wouldn't have such awful behavior because we would have a legal system that would entitle us and our children to certain legal rights. Otherwise, we remain legal strangers to one another. And unfortunately, the legal stranger status sets up the opportunity for gay people with children to be selfish and stupid when they end their relationships.
We fight so hard to get people to recognize our relationships with our partners/spouses and our children. Then, some idiot decides to use the anti-gay system in an attempt to steal another's parenting rights. Whether one is fortunate enough to have legal rights as a parent through adoption, if a person has been taking care of a child, and that child sees the person as a parent, then damn it, we all should see that person as a parent.
I won't go so far as to say we should stone members of the gay community who manipulate the anti-gay system for their own selfish attempt to steal another's parenting rights, but I will say the community should speak out against these folks, and boot them from the community in whatever ways possible.
It's not just the community these selfish people are hurting, it's first and foremost the children. I guess this is the case in many heterosexual divorces, but at least there is a legal system that offers legal protections for the children in these cases.
I am supposed to be nice to all the members of my organization, but don't count on seeing niceness and silence from me if you are trying to manipulate the system to steal another's parenting rights and a child's parent.
It's wrong, and nothing one says or thinks justifies these selfish actions.